MY MINI

Small? Yes. Plenty of room for me? Yes. Fun to drive?? Incredibly.

Not exactly the type of ride you pull up in front of the club in but hey. I dare to be different.

Two Months ago.........

Ok so I'm sitting her today (sick) and I'm wondering in light of my new years resolution to leave Kansas for once and for all. How bad do you want this bro? How bad could it be? Your leaving this place and a relatively good job, to pursue a dream/change of lifestyle so one day you don't wake up 15 years from now wondering why your still living in Topeka. The problem is I have responsibilities here that just aren't so easy to walk away from. But, how bad could it be if I just said fuck it all and got outta dodge. I could pick back up on that stuff as soon as I got my shit situated. The bigger picture is that I don't have a life here, and I'm not enjoying my life here. Is this selfish? I mean you only live once right? Can I live?

I've already sacrificed over a decade to this place and my affairs in it. I'm running a tread mill here, and happiness has escaped me, in spite of achievements many would view as success. Truly money does not buy happiness. Also, and I don't know what it is about this place but my music is at a stand still. I suppose I'm just not writing what this demographic is into, and I'm cool with that i guess. I mean it would have been nice to be respected in my craft more here, but you can't win them all right? Besides I get plenty of love outside of state....... I just wanna be there.

I can't regret being here. I got some much out of it. I became a man here. I just think it's time to move on. And I just wonder if this is something I need to be patient about. I feel this urgency to get the hell on by any means, cause this ain't living. On the flip side, LOL. Tony wants to get married. Single life as been good I must say, but I feel like I need a change of pace. I've done so much on my own in this beautiful struggle, I'm ready to have a partner now been praying on it for sometime now. Regardless of whatever dating I've been doing for the last 6 years emotionally I've been "singe". The last woman I gave my heart to didn't really act right (lol). I'm over that shit now though. As the years went by I also got to know myself better, in short after all this time I know I'm ready to settle in. Not with anybody though. But she will come...... if she hasn't already.

They love to point the Finger!

It's mad funny how everyone is taking shots at my character these days. Soooo..... I'm a lying, backstabbing, weak ass, selfish, egotistical, arrogant, asshole, fake sonova..... oh hell you fill in the blanks. Half the people who read this probably have their own negative word to describe me.

I read things. People tell me things.... I think you are funny. Especially since these same people called me at some point if not still... a friend. I could sit here and play the role like that shit don't bother me but it does. I could easily put some things about All of you who talking shit but I won't. And the last post about John, that was really being easy on him. And like him some of you I really had a lot of love for, in spite of my faults. These last few months have been crazy for me, but things turned out like I knew they would. So first I wanna say fuck you to the doubters. Second, when I was down there were some I really thought would be there, you weren't... So fuck you too. On specific shit I suppose we could get into that but I would like to put it like this.

What did I do to you??

I mean really. When I got issues with people I take it to them. You don't have to figure me out. I don't mind that type of confrontation. Especially with people I have to deal with on a daily basis. So if I'm coming to you about issues I have with you. Why do I have to hear or read about you talking shit or having a problem with me? What kind of shit is that??

And I'm selfish. Fuck you people man. FUCK YOU!!

I get all this silence and shit in person. But then I get you hear all this shit you got to say from other people and on the fucking internet.
I would be in your face about this shit right now if you wasn't str8 cut the fuck off.

:) So now I hope you "get the fucking clue." Aside from my blog, I really don't run around telling lies and spreading my propaganda on people. I'm wiping my hands clean of this place soon any way so fuck it.

And once again.
Fuck you.

TransFormers

"More than meets thee eye"

I didn't want to do this, but I fell like I need to in hopes of protecting my integrity as a friend, as an emcee, and most of all as the man I claim to be.

If you don't know the history I've kicked it and ran ryhmes with Kansas City's beloved John "StikFiga" Westbrook for about 10 years now. And our true professional attempts at Hip-Hop have existed since we resurrected the "ONLYONES CrEW" in 2005 with Mike "LOve" Jones. We are from TOPEKA You can find our efforts on myspace @ http://www.myspace.com/theonlyonescrew-Links for each artist in the top five.

Since our first project "The Skinny" a trend began. We ALL would head to the studio, have a good time and make good music. But when it came time for release........ if any of you have heard that mixtape none of Stik's crew are on it, but "MacLethal" a local KC rapper who's made quite a name for himself. As a matter of fact if they been listening no one can tell me a final product that "StikFiga" has put out with HIS closest crew on it. Stik introduced me to Mike "LoveJones" in the fall of 2005. Upon introduction I was told that Mike was "The deal". "I fucks wit him" is how it was put to me. So I fucked with him too. I see now that after Mike's usefulness was over, so was the need to have him around as I listened from the same man mouth that "we need to loose the white boy".
I remember when John (StikFiga) first got his endorsement with Oddisee out in D.C.. He tells Mike "We put in our applications and I got the job." It seemed to me that upon some prospect of success, he found no regard for those who've stood with him. I've never been much of a hater, when I heard the news I was happy for him. I still am. (On a side note just earlier that year the Cali Agents was getting at us thru me. And he was eager to keep the crew together till it fell thru.)

My only issue with John (Stik). Is the same issue I've always had. And the one that finally broke the camels back. I've been there since the beginning, and we out there trying to do this for us and ours. These people you big up and speak on in these interviews ain't your crew. So why do you mention them and not those close who you claim are so talented?? Explain that. And explain that to those who you do big up.

Because with my own ears I've heard John "StikFiga" Westbrook disrespect MacLethal, Approach, CEsCru, Greg Enemy, Dutch Newman, and a few others. In our last confrontation he claimed most of you are just the opportunist that I am stating he is. This coming from his own mouth. What you read above is just a brief glimpse into so much more.
I'm a loyal dude to the people I got love for. I don't expect anyone to stop dealing with Stik. Dude is talented and I don't think anyone can hold him back. Just know what type of cat you dealing with.

Like I said before I didn't want to do this. But John. When you went to Nadia at the Pitch and made it come off like I was "boo hoo" over not being mentioned. I didn't appreciate that. Because I came to you about how I felt about the issues we have as a whole. And I warned you to walk away from that conversation with a piece of mind. And if you or anyone else can't see the point I'm trying to make then fuck you and them.
When you and Mike fell out I looked at both sides and gave you the benefit of the doubt. This last month is like a slap in the face, and professionally I think it's too late to make that shit right. I still wanna salvage a friend ship out of this, but know that I don't wanna deal with you on any type of music level. I'm gonna wrap up this project that Me and You worked on and call it a day. Since it's going to California I hope you get something more out of it. I don't expect you to mention it at all here. It's the last solid I'm hitting you with on my connection list. While in regards to music, thank you for nothing. It's time to support those who support me, and I wish ya well bro.

Do yourself a favor and do not respond to this post in a unfavorable way.

I can go deeper.

I am the Devil........

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Fever

It's just human. We all have the jungle inside of us. We all have wants and needs and desires, strange as they may seem. If you stop to think about it, we're all pretty creative, cooking up all these fantasies. it's like a kind of poetry.
"Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider" Shit this is sooooo true.

Lip Service

But seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.
"Waiter Rant"